Children are sponges

Children are sponges. They absorb every word that comes out of your mouth. They mimic your body language and they emulate your behavior. (Nanny 911)

The sentence above is an excerpt from a book I was reading. And it proved. The children quickly absorb what they hear from the world around them. Schools, homes, and also when they playing with their friends, is a good medium to absorb. My husband and I early on made it a rule that any upset as we both were strictly forbidden to demonstrate in front of our children, the right time to talk about the problem is when our son has gone to bed. All with the aim that we do not lose control in coping with anger, because usually when we are angry all the words are not worth going out. Any upset which we felt, when we hold it at the time, and discuss it 5 hours later we might have forgotten the origin of our anger. When angry we would be smiling to see our son’s babble, funny, so even though we were angry, just still smiling. So when we have the discussion session later, the problem seemed to evaporate.
It is forbidden to say the words that are not appropriate in the house. Neither I nor my husband was and always keep reminding each other.
After 3 months we lived apart for a reason. And my job became increasingly severe. We have to adapt with new environment, especially my son. He has no friend with the same age with him. When I leave the house for doing my activities, he stay at home with his granny and antie. I am often surprised, how fast children imitate the words he heard. Once my kids say "lase ni... (sort of a curse for our region" I continue to ask: "Why did you say that? Who’s teach you the words?". "Antie Nita's from," she replied innocently. On bed while I tell him story, I also give him an explanation. That the word is not good, if your aunt say that again, not followed. The next day when he heard that word he turned and said to his auntie "what did you say auntie? You are not supposed to say so auntie! "(aunt blank). Since then I gave notice on the home, is expected to each at home to not get the words that do not deserve. And Thank God everything would like to cooperate.
Once I was visiting a friend's house along with Jericho. Her son age my son, so they play together. Her son’s likes to say "Tolo ni." My son confused and I was sure he asked to himself what did the word mean. I just watched, when Jeri would imitate it. And right 10 minutes later without any conscious Jeri said: "Tolo ni." I admonished him and Jeri replace the word "Tolo ni" with na'na'na, and rhythm in accordance with the word "Tolo ni." Why is this child like swearing, because his mama did that too, the curse words like interjection in that house. After done business, I immediately took leave her home.
I am trying to do good things for him. I avoid the things that are not worth as I can. One day while I was reading, he asked me, “Mom, why do you like reading most.” And I answered him, by reading we could know anything we want. And he took his book and pencil and began to learn. Sometimes he takes a book ask me to telling him some stories about fish, or anything else.
The essence of all is to establish communication with the child. How do we convey the message that we want to them. I used to shout out and the results, he also screamed when he ask for something. And I know that it’s false. Slowly I began to change the way I approach him with a soft communication and have an eye contact more often. Sometimes he start whine when he want something. And I don’t serve him if he ask in that way. I always say that I don’t understand what you want is you ask me in that way. Stop crying, calm yourself ad start to talk. And since I used this method, I don’t need long time to overcome his whine. I am learning how to make him comfortable to convey his feelings, when he was sad, angry, disappointed or happy and as well as how to forgive and apologize.
Every time I learned to tolerate my child. I learn how to overcome my anger, how to share my time with him and enjoy it all. Although sometimes I am too tired when arrive home after having some activities in college, and greeted with a pile of dirty dishes, but kisses and big hugs from my beloved son, all tired I feel erased already.
I just wanted him to speak polite in his social, Because I can’t fully control him when he is going to elementary school, but by building a communication from his early age I expect as his age increasing he can judge which is good and what does not, which ones need to be imitated and which should be ignored.
Hopefully….